Monday, March 22, 2010


I am scheduled for mediation with the gay wife on March 31st. I am frightened, yet have no reason to be. I suspect it is just my self-sabotauge kicking in. I have convinced myself that I will have to support her and her lover which is, of course, completely crazy.

Here are the things that are currently keeping me awake --

- How will I react to seeing her? I haven't spoken with her in close to 1 1/2 years. It's crazy, but the thought of seeing her unnerves me.

- Will she bring her partner to the hearing? How will I react to seeing the two of them together?

- Her lawyer fired me from my job of the last 10 years (we had a small business where she, her lover and I were all employed). As their passion for each other grew, it was hard for them to keep it a secret from me, so I was asked to work at home. Like a fool, I did so.

- How will I react. It is hard to "let go" and just know that the devine feminine (or whatever higher power you favor) will take care of me.

I have booked myself into a small bed and breakfast that is walking distance from the mediation location. I am trying to reduce the number of variables that could throw me off balance.

Why do wives have to change like this?


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