Ongoing

So, I'm considering changing the focus of this blog. I need to shed my skin and get away from the divorce stuff. It's a chapter and it's in the rearview. We need to keep going!

James

Damp Sunday in the Southwest

I want to thank everyone that gave me such powerful encouragement over this awful ordeal. I have become much more grounded in myself and it is a process, not a destination.

Net net, I have gone through a gigantic shift. The divorce was very costly and expensive and I am in a new economic reality. However, I am so much happier and grounded in where I am.

Been doing some exploring and will post again later today about some of those aspects. FemDom (not as much as I would like) BDSM (of course) and some other random kink.

Thanks again -- I love you

James

Lots of changes - it makes me kinda sad....

to read my earlier posts. A year later makes a huge difference.  Been through lots, but the old self-esteem is much higher and I have to say I like it.

Lots to update!

My March 1 resolution is to kickstart this puppy. So, consider it kickstarted!

Here's an update:

Divorce -

Continued messiness. Just when I thought it was all over, it turns out that she has been keeping secrets -- secrets from me, her lawyer and from the courts. She has a business (that I helped to build) and she claims that it doesn't have any value. I worked there -- I know it does!

Her "expert" valuator basically agreed with our expert valuator before the trial as to the worth of the business. That is what they call a "stipulated" value. So, we assumed there was no disagreement and presented that to the judge. In the spirit of surprise, they "changed their mind" before the trial, catching us by suprise. She claimed that the company was now worth 25% of what they originally agreed to.

The judge bought it.

We had asked for a copy of her agreement with her business partner. In it she had a statement of the company's "fair market value". She lied to us, to the court and her own attorney that it didn't exist... of course it did.

So, we get a copy of it (and it's higher than she claimed, natch) and boom -- we're back in court.

Don't lie people. It ALWAYS catches up with you!

Work -

I got a job. That is a "good thing". Paychecks are awesome, but the work is hard.

Love Life -

Non existant. I did a couple of wild things -- went over to Billings on a speed date. Met all kinds of crazy girls, a Dr, teacher, physicist and a social activist. None of 'em liked me which is allright with old James. I ain't ready to put on the spurs quite yet.

Dogs -

Got a new pup. That's a better friend anyhow.

Well, keep your collective chins up. Stay dry and keep warm. I have been plowing the ranch road and every storm makes it narrower. If we don't get warm weather soon, I'll need to get a thinner truck!

James

I want to be optimistic

Need a job and all that.  Being 50 in this market really sucks.

Thinking about moving -- new start and all that.  Any ideas?

Where are all those fine looking women that need a loving man in their life?

November Update

I feel bad for neglecting this outlet. I apologize to those who have written words of support for not responding.  I thank you for reaching out to me.

I was pretty upset by the way that this all came down, the way that it all ended up.  I still am.

So, here is the update in bullets, since June.....

• I drove home for the trial;
• She petitioned the court for a delay;
• It was granted -- to September;
• I drove back home;
• Her attorney went on vacation for all of August;
• They stonewalled us on documents;
• I drove back across country again;
• They delivered a pile of documents two days before trial;
• We went to trial;
• It went badly for me;
• My lawyer was an asshat;
• He begged me to settle for 50% of his firm's worst expectation;
• I gave in and signed the papers;
• I had a long drive back across the country cursing myself.

So that's it.  Its over.

I feel horrible about it, but want to leave it in my past...

Note to self - only date heterosexual women!

Update - We Move to Trial - Slowly

Sorry it has been so long for me to update.

Sadly, there has been no forward movement and the frustration has been really difficult for me to bear, even more so to talk about. I feel as if we are completely out of control of this divorce process. My lawyer assures me that we are calling the tune, but it seems as if we all are on defense, all the time.

I am hemorrhaging money. Job prospects are slim, even for a good guy like myself. I owe $6,000 to the IRS and don't have a cent to my name. I have borrowed $15K from a good friend and my accounts are at zero.

I was told by the State that she is fighting my unemployment benefits on the basis that I "abandoned" my job. Funny, I just happen to have an e-mail from her lawyer firing me effective 12/1 of last year. That allowed me to collect unemployment benefits which I am living on. Hello Ramen Noodles!

Met with my attorney today. They know how weak I am at this time and are attempting to string out the trial so that she can go "on a well deserved vacation". Ridiculous. I drive across country to prepare for this trial and they want a continuance so that she can hit the beach with her girlfriend.

Sadly, that action shows where her sense of priorities are. Vacation time is more important than dealing with this issue. That's how crazy these women get.

Well, keep your collective chins up. Thanks for writing me, I really appreciate the words of encouragement.

James